- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
How Do I Meditate?
Answers to Some Common Questions about Meditation
I think the most common thought that arises when someone attempts
to meditate for the first time is, "Am I doing this the right way?"
The answer is ALWAYS yes. You can't do it wrong!
The simple act of being still and choosing to consciously tune in is all you have to “do,” but the mind usually tries to convince us that we are doing it wrong.
When you try to meditate, you may notice that the mind tends to
get upset about almost anything! It looks for any excuse
to get out of meditating/being present.
It may become frustrated that there are undesirable sounds
preventing the “perfect” environment that it needs to feel peaceful.
It may become annoyed or scared that part of the body is hurting.
It may even get frustrated by its own thoughts and say,
“I can’t quiet my mind. This is pointless. I can’t do this.”
All of this inner resistance is normal.
Through meditation, we become aware of this constant mind chatter.
We practice being lovingly present with it all...
the way we’d be present with a dear friend.
The more we practice this, the more we realize that many of the
thoughts don’t actually serve our well-being. This awareness
empowers us to consciously choose to stop listening to
the thoughts that do not serve our well-being.
Question #1 - How do I meditate?
The answer is kind of so simple that it seems like there should be more to it, but really, all you need to do is be still, tune in, and notice what is happening inside of you. You can close your eyes, or you can keep them open and focus them on one focal point.
Bringing your awareness to your breath is a very helpful tool, because your breath is always present. You can simply notice how your breath feels coming in and out of your nose, how your rib cage feels expanding and contracting.
You’ll notice that your mind quickly strays away from its focus on the breath. It is okay. Just commit to consciously choosing to return to an awareness of your breath whenever you notice that you have become lost in a stream of thought.
Question #2 - Where should I meditate?
Anywhere! You could meditate in a bedroom, in an office, on a porch, in a park, or even in a parked car!
If you want to cultivate a regular practice, it is helpful to have a space that is dedicated to it. Your mind will begin to know that this is the space where you come to be still and tune in, and it can improve your success with practicing consistently.
Some people like to create an altar. You can put up pictures of loved ones or spiritual figures that resonate with you. You could burn a candle or incense. You can listen to meditation music or be in silence.
There is no right or wrong. Find what works best for you. Create a comfortable space that you enjoy being in.
Question #3 - When should I meditate?
You can meditate any time. Many choose to practice in the morning, because it is naturally a quiet time and a nice way to start the day. Thoughts may be a little less active because you haven't had many interactions yet.
Meditating at night right before you go to bed is also a lovely practice that can improve the
quality of your sleep. Chances of falling asleep during your meditation are higher if you meditate at night, but that is okay. If that is the time that works best for you, do it then.
Meditation in the morning, afternoon, or night doesn’t really matter - just find a time of day that will work for you on a consistent basis.
Make it convenient for yourself so that you are more likely to stick with it.
Question #4 - How should I sit?
You can sit cross-legged on the floor, on a yoga mat, on your bed, outside, etc. You can use
yoga props to support your seated posture.
You could also sit toward the edge of a chair or bed with your feet on the ground.
Wherever you sit, have a tall, lengthened spine and make sure you feel comfortable and
supported. If you are uncomfortable to start, it will only get worse the longer you sit.
Question #5 - Can I lie down?
Sitting is usually the preferred way to practice, but you can lie down if that is what your body needs. Lying down just increases the chance of falling asleep, but sometimes falling asleep is what we need.
Question #6 - How do I stop my thoughts?
You can’t stop your thoughts. There is no magic on/off switch for the mind. If there were, no one would need to meditate! Meditation isn't about stopping our thoughts, it’ about becoming aware of all the thoughts, becoming less attached to them, and practicing giving them less power over our experience.
Normally the thoughts are racing around unconsciously all day. Meditation is the practice of shining the light of awareness on the unconscious tendencies of the mind.
As you start to see the mind more clearly, you will consciously be able to choose to stop listening to thoughts that do not serve your well-being.
Question #7 - I keep falling asleep when I meditate.
This is very common, especially in the beginning, and it is okay. You are not doing anything wrong.
When you catch yourself falling asleep, just notice without judgment and consciously choose to come back to your meditation.
At first, the mind is not used to being relaxed. It associates quiet and relaxation with sleep, so falling asleep is a natural and common response.
As you keep practicing, the mind will learn the difference between meditation time and sleep time.
Question #8 - What kind of meditation should I practice?
Search for any style that resonates with you. In my experience, the simpler the better. Simply being still and trying to keep your awareness on your breath is all you need to do.
Some people prefer guided meditation practices.
There are many guided practices out there.
Do whatever works for you, whatever makes you feel the most connected and present with yourself.
Your practice will morph and adapt along the way. Start where you are now and adjust as needed as you progress.
Question #9 - Why do we focus on the breath so much?
The breath is always happening in the present moment. The mind is never present, it is always distracting us from the present moment with thoughts about the past or future.
We focus our attention on the breath to practice feeling the present moment.
Question #10 - How long should I meditate?
You can meditate for any amount of time that you’d like. 1-5 minutes is a good place to start if you have never done it before. You can work up to meditating longer than that eventually.
Pick an amount of time that feels possible to you. If you overwhelm yourself, the mind will come up with reasons to avoid it.
So start short and build up to more time when/if you feel ready.
Question #11 - What’s the point of meditation?
The part of the mind that likes to achieve “results” asks this question. It tends to resist a practice that involves sitting still. It may believe meditation is a “waste of time” and/or that there are many other “more important” things it “should” be doing.
The “point” of meditation is to slow down, be present, and get to know yourself better. It is a practice that will change you from the inside out.
Besides helping to calm the mind, body, and nervous system, it connects you with your inner wisdom/intuition.
The more you meditate, that more strongly you will be able to feel and recognize the voice of your intuition, and the more you will be able to consciously release thoughts and behaviors that do not serve your well-being.
Cultivating our connection to our intuition helps us build trust in ourselves and in life. It helps us be more patient and understanding. It helps us love, appreciate, and value ourselves and others.
Question #12 - What if I can’t find the time?
You can 100% find the time. Thinking that you can’t find the time is an example of the mind creating an excuse to avoid this practice. You just have to make different choices to fit it in. You have to choose to make this practice a priority.
You can easily cut out 5 minutes of watching TV or scrolling on social media. The mind may protest, but choose to be a loving parent to yourself. Give yourself this gift of tuning in and being present without external distractions or stimulation for a few minutes every day.
Do you have another question that I didn't answer? Please let me know.
May you always feel the love that surrounds you.
🩷🩵💜
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